Jennette McCurdy, who received accolades for her portrayal of Sam in “iCarly,” claims that her narcissistic mother taught her anorexic traits.
McCurdy claims in her memoir that she became bulimic and that, if her mother were still alive, she would support the conduct.
According to a psychologist, narcissistic children are especially prone to eating disorders.
Jennette McCurdy, an accomplished actress best known for playing Sam in Nickelodeon’s “iCarly,” claims that at age 11, her mother began teaching her anorexia. McCurdy claims in her autobiography, “I’m Glad My Mom Died,” that her mother Debra mistreated her until her death from cancer in 2013.
According to McCurdy, her mother would frequently remark on how young-looking she appeared for her age, believing that this would help her secure more acting opportunities. She claimed that when holding McCurdy, Debra would also sob and express her desire for her to continue to be physically small and youthful.
Because of this, a young McCurdy began to fear regular growth—such as getting taller and developing breasts—and to worry that her mother would no longer love her as much. According to McCurdy, when the girl asked her mother how she might stop her “boobies from coming” so that she could please her, the woman advised a “hidden thing” called calorie restriction.
McCurdy, who is now 30 years old, claimed that losing her childhood to her narcissistic mother’s anorexic behavior. She added that she thought Debra would have supported McCurdy’s development of bulimia if she were still alive.
According to psychologist and “Rethinking Narcissism” author Craig Malkin, narcissistic parents who see their kids as an extension of themselves will influence them through control strategies to fit their inflated self-image.
He claimed that if a narcissist becomes “caught up” in fame and physical appearance as ways to demonstrate their importance and self-worth, they will prioritize obtaining these things at all costs, even the welfare of their children.
McCurdy claims that when she was younger, she and her mother would “team up” for calorie counting and weekly weigh-ins.
McCurdy claimed that as a young child, she saw her mother’s preoccupation with her size as a sign of affection.
She wrote that they would “team up” to keep each other accountable for their weight goals and calorie counting. This includes weighing in once a week.
According to Malkin, narcissistic parents frequently save their praise and emotional availability for times when their child performs exactly how they want. This is done to manipulate the youngster.
“She was telling her, “You have to act properly if you want to be special to me.” You need to use the proper eyesight. You must accomplish specific goals,” “said Malkin.
When a child realizes this, they will try anything to get the narcissist’s approval, even if it involves hiding their true self or pretending to appreciate something they don’t, according to him.
McCurdy claimed that she weighed herself five times a day in order to impress her mother and have the best possible weekly weigh-in.
McCurdy began bingeing and purging after her mother passed away.
McCurdy claimed that after her mother passed away, she developed bulimia and was unable to stop bingeing and purging. She claimed that she used purging as a strategy to overcome the humiliation she had when eating.
Children of narcissists may unconsciously adopt habits as adults that mirror the pressure they felt as kids to gain their parents’ approval, according to Malkin. Since bingeing and purging are frequently accompanied by feelings of shame and guilt, doing either of those things could be a means to experience those feelings and maintain the codependent feeling, even if the narcissist isn’t physically there.
It may be a “complex mourning reaction” to losing a narcissistic parent, he added, or it could be a method to avoid confronting challenging emotions they had to suppress as a child in order to satisfy their parent.
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